I did not watch Drag Race, but here’s what I gleaned from second hand information:

Last night was the “Season Finale” of Drag Race… sort of.  Apparently at the last minute Ru pulled a Survivor-style twist and said “And the winner of Drag Race Season 4 is…(dramatic pause)

…going to be announced next week.”

BOO! HISS!

Queens across the country went wild, throwing heels and (empty) bottles of poppers at the TV.

While I’m normally am not a fan of this type of “Gotcha Journalism” (me and Sarah Palin both), I do give Ru props for finding a way to make everyone (and by everyone, clearly I mean a small handful of gays scattered across the US) tune in to the reunion, where the winner will finally be… oh who cares.

Really.

Does anyone care at this point?  I’ve only been half paying attention most of the season anyway. Watching grown ass men act like Toddlers & Tiaras gets boring after a while, and there’s only so much faux-drama a boy can take.  From what I understand, the Final Three are like a “Drag Through the Ages” exhibit at Madam Tussaud’s. Queen Number One is the old school Female Impersonator, like a Bob Mackie gown come to life. Queen Number Two (seriously, she’s number two) is the drag of today, which is actually kinda sorta more like the mid ’00s, what with the Latin Essplosion and Skanky Aguilera-ness. And then there’s Queen Number Three, the drag of 2057, which is like Marilyn Manson but maybe not as annoying?

It doesn’t really matter who wins, all the queens will get to travel to exotic gay bars across the country (ok not exotic so much as dumpy), putting all other queens in their path out of work, charging an exorbitant fee because now they are “TV Famous”, which means they are inherently better than all the rest of us Non-TV Folk.  And good for them!

But we all know that the real winner of this (and every) season of RuPaul’s Drag Race is of course, RuPaul.

Say what you will, but that bitch clawed her way up and sashayed through the ’90s, opening doors for ALL OF US gays, queen or not. There were hardly ANY gay people on TV, and then there was a giant black drag queen.  No one did what RuPaul did, and still no one else has.

So it really doesn’t matter who wins next week, as long as its Sharon Needles.

On that note, let’s take a look back 25 years, to a go-go dancing RuPaul in 1988, leaving the Pyramid Club. Even then, pure magic.

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“It’s called ManDelay, ever heard of it?”
Mandelay… my brain searches for something.
The casino in Vegas? I think I’ve seen it as a prize on Wheel of Fortune.
“No… Not Mandalay… ManDelay. Climax Control Gel.”
Wait, what?
Suddenly I’m paying attention.

I try to bury my 4th grade giggles, I am a serious writer. I can do this. The punny name (Man Delay, get it?) pretty much sums up the purpose of the product: it’s a desensitizing gel, applied to the penis. It’s FDA approved for premature ejaculation, but can also be used by anyone just wanting to prolong the experience.

I was told that the feeling of the gel itself is actually kind of a turn on, and once applied it starts working immediately. The active ingredient, Benzocaine, is widely used (Oragel, Anbesol, cough drops) and has no side effects. That’s all it takes, and should help you last longer.

A quick survey of ManDelay users shows that it’s both well reviewed and does the job.  One tip I’ve heard is to wash it off after 5-10 minutes so as to not also make your partner numb “down there”, but that seemed to be more advice for hetero users.  In the gay world… who knows, your partner might like to be a little desensitized down there too, depending on what you have packed for the trip… especially if you’re taking a seldom used back road.

Euphemism overload!

Benzocaine is also the same active ingredient in Anal Eze, so its kind of like getting 2 products in one! ManDelay is available in most major drug stores as well as online, and is less than ten bucks for a 1 ounce tube.

Curious, I went down to the local drug store and picked one up. It applies easily and, yes, starts desensitizing right away.  Short of the old “Think of something disgusting” trick, I’ve never tried any actual product meant for climax control, so my frame of reference is pretty limited, but I’d say it does the trick.

I’ll write a more “in depth” review later this week but first I’d be curious to hear what some of you think about ManDelay, have you tried it? Liked it? Fill me in! (That’s what she said)

Tell me about your your ManDelay experience, and I’ll tell you about mine.

E-Mail me at ManDelayMan@gmail.com and we’ll post some of the best responses next week.

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Earlier in the week I posted a quick Q&A I did with Cody Critcheloe of SSION, who are performing tonight at The Highline Ballroom.  There’s a whole slew of performers and hosts also appearing, so I wanted to give you all a primer of what to look for tonight. See you there!

First off, SSION just released their brand new video for My Love Grows In The Dark:

SSION is joined tonight with performances by the K-Holes:

House of Ladosha:

Alexis Penney:

Mykki Blanco:

Backspace:

and HOSTED by:
Fischerspooner’s CASEY SPOONER

Fashion Designer JOHN RENAUD

Performance and Visual Artist GIO BLACK PETER

and studly boyfriend artists SLAVA MOGUTIN & BRIAN KENNY

Get Tickets Here!

Friday March 2nd Daniel Nardicio and ThirstyGirl Productions present SSION at the Highline Ballroom. For the uninitiated, SSION (pronounced shun, like the last syllable of the word obsession) is an art rock group known for its wild performances. Led by Cody Critcheloe who started the group in Kansas City and moved it to NYC a few years ago, SSION has been tearing it up most recently in support of their 2011 album Bent.

I asked Cody a few questions about SSION and the upcoming show… with the stipulation that responses use as few words as possible:

Jeff: What can people expect from a SSION show?

Cody: www.youtube.com/watch?v=v_E2FYT_OiY

Jeff: Who are your influences?

Cody: Pops -n- punks

Jeff: SSION in five words?

Cody: Let the ‘goo’ times roll.

Jeff: What should I wear to the Highline Ballroom on Friday?

Cody: Silk.

SSION will be joined on Friday with performances by K-Holes, House of Ladosha, Alexis Penney, Mykki Blanco, and Backspace, hosted by Casey Spooner, John Renaud, Slava Mogutin, Brian Kenny and Gio Black Peter!

BUY TIX HERE

Like most gay men, I love to travel. I’ve often considered it the reward for being gay and having to go through homophobic high school. Whereas most jocks and John Cougar Mellancamp songs sing the praises of high school (“hang on to 16 as long as you can”), most gay guys i know couldnt wait to get legal and get out! And some of us have turned that predilection into careers.

One of my favorite places to travel to is Key West- though no longer just the artist haven it used to be, Key West makes me happy in a way that New Orleans cant, because it’s safe.

And i say that being one of New Orleans biggest fans.

Nestled in Key West is a nugget that many of the uninhibited in my crowd are familiar with- The Island House. It’s a truly lovely, sexy men only gay guesthouse- and it’s clothing optional too!  I just returned from a few days there and what impressed me most about Island House was not just the amount of tumescent dicks swinging everywhere, but also, how well it was run as a business. 

Since I am fascinated by well run businesses that manage to also be of a sexual bent, i asked the owner, a gregarious thoughtful man named Jon Allen, if i could interview him about Key West, his business strategy, and all that dick.

DN: First off, how did you end up owning the Island House? 

JA: We were looking to buy a business that would be fun to run and provide some income in lieu of a pension.  We wanted it to be a gay business and we wanted to live in a place where it was OK to be gay.  So we looked and looked, and fortunately found Key West and the Island House.

DN: You’ve described staying at the Island House as “an experience”- could you describe that experience is?

Each customer has their own experience, so I can’t really single out just one.  But the components we work to provide are complete safety, a friendly and competent staff, really good quality rooms, good food and drink 24/7, gym and spa facilities, and a generally  friendly ambience.

DN: Island House has a reputation for being sexually free (it’s clothing optional), and very open sexually~ how have you managed to bring together quality accommodations and a permissive vibe?   

JA: It’s a Key West thing.  I don’t think we could operate this resort anywhere else in the country.  It’s the year round good weather.  A very accepting community.  And clarity about the fact that we’re running a luxury resort, not a bath house.  Guys do want to have fun, and that’s good.  But we do ask that ‘fun’ stays in your room, or the video room; not in the public areas of the hotel.

DN: Most gay men I know, when on vacation, dream of opening a B & B in a town they love- what words of advice would you give someone who is considering this line of work?

JA: Work in a B&B for a while to find out if it’s really for you.  Remember, that if it’s a small property you’re going to be doing most of the work yourself, and you can’t take a day off because the customers are always there.   There’s a really high rate of ‘burn out.’

DN: The attention to details (i.e. the small things) is what Island House is very much known for do you ascribe to the theory that “god is in the details”?

I’m not sure where God is, but I do have a sign on my wall that’s a quotation from H J Heinz  “A common thing done uncommonly well brings success.”

DN: How has Key West changed in the last decade as a gay destination?

It’s much more upscale.  Meaning more expensive.  And much busier.  So there are more gay guys on the island but also many more straight folks.  And gays are more integrated.  So it doesn’t seem as ‘gay’ as it was.  And we’re much more connected to the rest of the world now with the internet and cable television so it doesn’t feel so far away and different.

DN: The Island House is men only. And when Pearls Rainbow (a former women only B & B in Key West) opened to both men and women, the owner was quoted as saying “In this economy, to be exclusive is to be out of business”- how has being exclusive to men helped or hurt your business?

JA: Island House is all about ‘men only.’  It just wouldn’t work with women around.  Fortunately we continue to be very successful.  Last year was our best ever.

DN:You’ve started and sold a successful company, and for the past  12 years you’ve owned a very successful hotel- what advice in general would you lend a young gay entrepreneur who is just starting out in business?

JA: Get a really strong grounding in all of the aspects of managing a business.  You need to understand accounting and finance, marketing, and how to select and motivate employees.  You should learn those things before you start the business, otherwise you’re setting yourself up for failure.

Island House Key West 

I was going to just write about a movie I recently watched, Weekend, which came out in 2011 and is on Netflix, but even though I enjoyed it, I don’t want to explain too much of its charm. Instead, I’m going through my Netflix to find other great Gay “themed” movies… WHERE NO ONE DIES. Listen, I love a good tear-jerker every once in a while, but not every movie about gay people has to end with someone dying of AIDS, getting beaten to death, or being a serial killer!

First off, lets start with the one that I just watched , “Weekend“.  It’s about a semi-closeted lifeguard and an outgoing artist who meet at a club, and their ensuing weekend together. I read a lot of reviews before seeing it, and I think in many ways that ruined some of the magic for me, so I’ll just say this: It’s subtle, has some beautiful scenes, raises interesting questions about modern gay relationships, and is very very cute. There are points which made me wonder if this was even a love story at all, or a very smart, almost political statement on how we as gay people are judged by the outside world.  The outside world is the omnipresent third character in the film, and how these two interact with it is handled with painful realism. Plus they’re both kinda cute, so there’s that.

Next on my list is Beautiful Thing. Another one from the UK. A teenaged love story about neighbors in a London housing project with a soundtrack from Mama Cass, this movie changed everything for me. It came out in 1996 when I was 18 and just creeping out of the closet myself. It was validation that young gay love can exist, and that is something every gay teenager needs to see more of. BONUS: Edge of Seventeen (1998), another cute coming out story, set in the early 80s.

Another one from the mid-’90s is The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of The Desert, a campy classic about three drag queens on a road trip across Australia in a bus called Priscilla.  Amazing writing, and on point performances from Terence Stamp, Guy Pearce, and Hugo Weaving (yes, Agent Smith is a drag queen). BONUS: Not to be confused with the similar To Wong Foo, Thanks For Everything! Julie Newmar, which came out a year later. To Wong Foo is pretty good too, though it was by no means as critically acclaimed as its Aussie counterpart.  Patrick Swayze is great, but Wesley Snipes and John Leguizamo actually turn it the fuck out as drag queens Noxeema Jackson and Chi Chi Rodriguez.

Next up… I thought Transamerica (2005) was brilliant.  I was worried at first that Felicity Huffman wouldn’t be able to pull off the character Bree, a trans character in the midst of her gender reassignment.  I was also worried that this movie might be too deep or devastating for me.  Thankfully, my worries were unfounded.  She was amazing, and the movie was funny, witty, and very warm.  It was much more of a comedy than I was expecting, which was great. BONUS: Ma Vie En Rose, Belgian 1997 comedy about a little boy convinced he is a girl.

Last but definitely not least… Shortbus. I hope that all of you have seen Shortbus already, but if you haven’t, consider this your first warning.  The notorious movie with actual sex from director John Cameron Mitchell turned out to be be actually amazing! The film follows a group of individuals around New York as they explore love, sex, and relationships… with realistic dialogue, emotionally charged performances, and lots of sex.  I really loved this movie, and its hopeful message. BONUS: Hedwig And The Angry Inch!

There we have it… not just five, but NINE great gay movies on Netflix Where Nobody Dies!